On March 23rd, 2011 the Iron Butterfly Racing team loaded into the big silver SUV and made the familiar trek to RMR. Oh how we wished we were towing something. In the vehicle sat Harry, Jed, Hailey, Sheri, Shawn, Dillan, and me. Much conversation during the drive to RMR was about the Bakersfield March Meet that Harry and Shawn had returned from two days prior. Brett Harris and Steve Schoenfeld had both won round 1 at the prestigious event. Then the Bakersfield race was postponed due to rain.

Once at RMR I tried my best to fill forms and navigate lines. Unfortunately I found myself in the wrong staging lane one more time. Then, like an idiot, I signed my name on the line of the check where one is expected to hand write the amount of the check, “Forty and no/100…” I swear I make more dumb mistakes at the race track than anywhere else. Does that happen to anyone else?

Mug shots were taken of the kids for their minor cards so that the police can easily identify them when the kids graduate from Jr Drag Racing to teenage street racing (uh, I mean TCR).

Soon we were seated in the congregation. Minister Ron Craft waved his gold adorned arms at the crowd and commanded silence. The flock quickly obeyed out of fear of the wrath of Craft. A higher power, Mike Eames, was introduced, though he needs no introduction. Deity Eames announced he shakes babies and kisses hands and then left to get some work done. An uneasy silence fell amongst the audience.

Ron walked behind the stage. He emerged carrying 8 huge tombstone looking rocks.

Commandments!
• Absolutely no skateboards, scooters, footballs, Frisbees, etc in the pits. (Amen!)
• All Street Legal competitors may drop 2 of 10 races.
• Beat the champ = beat last year’s series winner at the first event, then the previous event’s winner at the remainder of the races.
• Every car is laddered.
• Ladders are based upon reaction time.
• You must run with your class to have a qualifying reaction time.
• Times will be posted after qualifying rounds near the safety shack.
• Ladders will be posted near the safety shack. The staging lane employee will also have a ladder. Additional ladders cannot be obtained unless you bribe an employee or complain enough that they want to shut you up.
• No need to report a break to the tower unless it is the semis or finals. But, be a darling, and let your competitor know so that they don’t worry about you.
• Jr. parents, please give your e-mail address and contact info to Mike Hart so that he can provide it to RMR, Troy, Jill, or other unauthorized spam generators. (Those who know me won’t think that last joke was too funny).
• Friday races for Jr’s are for a bond. Saturdays we race for a check.
• All Jr’s can run on Saturdays (no more qualifying at the Street Legal races).
• Saturdays will feature 2 events for Jr’s, the “All Race” and the “Top Jr.”
• Top Jr is an 8.00 index class with a .500 pro tree.
• All Race is for any car in the beginner, advanced or master classes who is not running Top Jr.
• Please declare your choice, Top Jr or All Race, in advance.
• Jr cars running in the beginner category (formerly known as rookie) need a B following their car number. Cars in the advanced category (formerly minor) need an A following their car number. Cars running in the Master category need only their car number. Do not follow the number with a letter. Parents, your name is followed by AARP.
• Jr’s will alternate lanes during qualifying. Otherwise, the 2nd pass is tossed.
• When the water box dude says to start the car, you’d best pay attention unless you worked out something in advance or unless you want to be tarred and feathered.
• For the Nitro Jam, the Friday race will be a points race for Jr’s. The Saturday Nitro Jam race will feature Top Jr and All Race.
• Top Jr and All Race will both have season champions crowned.
• Entry fees are $30.
• Jr parking is at the turnout on Fridays (as always), but on the corner of the staging lanes on Saturdays.
• Applause roared from the adoring crowd when it was announced that 12 feet of crushed highway asphalt would be laid and slurry sealed from the outside of the staging lanes to the dumpster and another pit row added after that. I thought Slurry Sealed Crushed Highway Asphalt was some sort of dirty talk. I kept waiting for the punch line.
• RMR cannot manipulate the ladder.
• RMR will be part of 1320go.com.
• New FM system, same channel.
• Julie will have a megaphone (It’s unclear if a new FM system = Julie with a megaphone)
• RMR is working on new wireless internet.
• April 9 at 10:00 AM Ralph will tech cars for ETI’s/YTI’s in the parking lot of Autoliv in Ogden. The cost is $20 per car. To get to Autoliv, take the 31st street exit and head West towards Hinkley Airport. Ralph would like to remind folks he has a partner in Utah County who can do tech inspections in the holy land.
• The 2011 RMR rule book supersedes any of my poorly written notes. The official RMR Rule Book will be available online soon if it’s not already there.
• Matt Schoenfeld’s face will be on the tower and his car on the rule book. I provided this picture to RMR, but Scooby, I mean Matt, wanted to charge RMR for the use of copyrighted imagery.

The meeting ended and we were all enlightened. Many of the congregation rushed Minister Ron to either kiss gold rings or confess to sins. The Iron Butterfly crew sang, “There is beauty all around” as we drove home.

Mike Hart

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